Secrets and Lies
by Molly4
Summary: Contains slash and unconventional pairings. What will Seth do to save his friendship? How far will he go?


A/N: Contains slash and unconventional pairings. I know I shouldn't bury myself in another work in progress, but this hit me today and wouldn't go away.

Rated: R

Disclaimers: I don't own any of the characters or the pool house or the Beautiful Blue Room or absolutely anything else, except the plot, which I claim as my own.

Secrets and Lies

By: Molly4

"God, this sucks."

Seth sighed loudly. His lower lip was caught beneath his teeth and he released it slowly, various noises of frustration escaping his mouth.

"I thought you liked that stuff," Ryan said, smirking at him over his Physics book.

"Eh…" Seth rolled over and stared at the ceiling. "I'm kind of in a Transcendentalist phase right now. A little Thoreau, a dash of Emerson, all that good stuff." He thumbed through his copy of _Desolation Angels_and let loose another weary sigh. "I still have a soft spot in my heart for the Beat crew, but D'Angelo is all about analyzing every single word in this book." He shot Ryan a pathetic look. "I like to let the words pour over me without having to stop and consider why he chose that exact word at that exact moment."

"So, put down the book," Ryan suggested with a shrug.

"My paper's due tomorrow." He paused. "God, I never thought my complaint with the educational system would be under-stimulation with the material. I could churn out this crap in my sleep." Seth snickered. "But like most boy-wonders, I have the superior intellect, but none of the motivation."

Both boys allowed the usual stretch of silence that followed one of Seth's many rambling episodes. Ryan took the time to study his friend, bemused.

"Well…I'm sure the paper could wait…if you had something better to do." Ryan shut his book slowly.

"Like what?" Seth asked, oblivious, staring at page 109 with a glazed look in his eyes.

That is, until Ryan had snatched the book away and tossed it over his shoulder, a strange glint in his eye.

Ryan was straddling his hips before Seth could even blink.

"Like this."

And he lowered himself, every part of him touching every part of Seth, at least in Ryan's mind. His warm lips caught Seth's hungrily, and he groaned as Seth's hands cupped his jean-clad ass.

Seth groaned a little as Ryan's tongue slid into his mouth and engaged in a complicated dance with his. A rush of familiar emotions took hold of him, and he felt a little bit of him floating away, to Tahiti maybe, where he didn't have to live a lie, where he didn't have to lie to someone he loved.

"Mmmm.." Ryan's lips roamed down Seth's neck, dropping kisses over every inch of his soft skin. His teeth nibbled gently, and he felt his lower regions throbbing to the point of near-explosion.

Seth's hands moved upwards, rubbing the tight skin of Ryan's back, going further and further up the back of Ryan's wifebeater. One hand strayed down the back of Ryan's jeans and he played with the waistband of Ryan's boxers.

"Oh God…Seth.." Ryan's whole body shuddered, and he attacked Seth with a new, ferocious intensity, desperate to peel off his shirt and take down his pants and do everything that his most intense wet dreams were made of.

"Is this want you want?" Seth asked, and Ryan missed the look in his eye. The look of uncertainty and guilt, the look of shame.

He instead focused his energies on peeling off Seth's t-shirt and pressing kisses across his surprisingly toned chest.

"This is all I want," he finally said, voice husky. "You." He swirled his tongue around Seth's pink nipple. "Are." He closed his mouth around it and closed his eyes. "Gorgeous." He kissed Seth's collarbone.

_Then this is what I'll give to you._

Seth lifted the wife-beater over Ryan's head and tossed it aside.

"You're not so bad yourself," he said, a sly grin on his face, hiding the thousands of thoughts rushing through his head, fighting back the urge to cry or scream or both.

His hands became acquainted with every inch of Ryan's chest and Ryan's hands fumbled for his zipper.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Seth tiptoed into the house quietly, closing the glass door with a muted click. He wasn't sure why he was going for stealth, considering it wasn't past his curfew and he'd only been in the pool house, a curfew-free zone, but he was.

He leaned against the kitchen counter briefly, closing his eyes. White hot shame burned through his knotted chest. He clenched his fist when he realized how badly it was shaking.

When did it get so hard to do this? he wondered. In the beginning, it had been easy. He'd known it was the right thing to do, to keep law and order in his land, but now he wasn't so sure. Now he wasn't so sure of anything.

"Hey, kiddo." His father paused at the fridge and turned to Seth, eyebrows narrowed. He took in the sight of his son, face flushed, hair askew, body shaking, and his parental radar went haywire. "Is something wrong?"

Seth snapped out of whatever trance he'd seemed to be trapped in and a painfully fake smile spread across his lips.

"Yeah. Of course. You know me and my deep contemplation skills. I was just standing here and thinking about you know, the state of the world and all that good stuff. But I've gotta do some homework and organize my CDs and about a thousand other things, so I better be going." Seth willed his legs to make their way out of the room.

"Okay," Sandy muttered to himself, confused, but not entirely surprised.

He dug through the fridge until he found one of his son's prized pudding cups and slammed the door shut, coming face-to-face with a very anxious looking Seth.

"Actually, Dad….do you think we could talk? Like uh, total father-son confidentiality, I mean. No telling Mom. Or anyone." Seth couldn't seem to meet Sandy's eye.

"Of course." Sandy laid a firm hand on his son's shoulder. "Just between you and me, kid. I promise." He squeezed Seth's arm gently. "Kitchen table?"

Seth finally looked up. "I'm thinking this is more of a your-office conversation."

Sandy let out a deep breath, realizing the serious implications of Seth's suggestion.

He wasn't sure what was coming.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

The silence was deafening.

Seth tapped his foot against the floor nervously, looking everywhere but at his father, who sat behind his desk, looking at him with burning concern and worry. He was starting to regret reaching out to anyone, especially someone so close to the situation, but when there was no one else, he naturally reached out to his father. It was either him or Ryan, but Ryan was the situation. And letting all of his issues fester in his brain was torturing him slowly until he could hardly function.

"Are you in trouble, Seth?" A heavy sigh followed. "You know you can tell me whatever it is, right?"

"Umm.." Seth stared at his shoes and slid down further in his chair. "Is it cool if I like, give you a hypothetical situation with no-name people and no-name things and you make no assumption as to who these people are and what these things are and if you do you won't tell me about them, because if you can't do that I don't think I can say anything, but I have to say something because I don't know what to do.."

"Seth! Seth!" Sandy held up a hand. "Seth, honey, calm down. It's okay." He lowered his voice. "I can do that for you. No problem. Just tell me what's on your mind."

His palms were suddenly sweaty. Seth didn't know what he was doing there. He didn't know what to say. How had he gotten into this mess? How could he expect to pull himself out?

"Sorry," he mumbled. He had to pick up the pieces, and quickly. If his dad saw what a big deal this was, he might read further into it than he should. He might really try to put the hypothetical pieces together and then the shit would really hit the fan. "It's not that big a deal, really." He relaxed his face into the look of proper chagrin and half-amusement, pondering how often he'd been fixing his expressions to what everyone wanted lately. "I just have this paper due tomorrow so I'm kinda freaking out. This whole thing is just added stress."

"I understand," Sandy said, not fully buying Seth's excuse. Something was going on.

"Okay, so say…like, what if someone has feelings for you, and you don't return them..but you know that if you don't return them it could totally ruin this perfect friendship because you've finally found a girl who likes cool music and you don't want to let that go. What does Boy Hypothetical do?" Seth chewed on his lower lip, aware of his own brilliance, slipping in the word girl like it was the truth or something.

"Is this about Alex? Is she trying to get back together?"

"Dad…hypothetical…" But Seth feels a small but guilty spark of triumph, because he got the desired reply. His dad was, as expected, behind on the whole Marissa and Alex drama, and made the most logical inference now that Anna was in Pittsburgh.

"Sorry." Sandy folded his hands and gave his son a strong and steady look. "You have to be honest. Being with somebody and having no feelings for them is the worst lie a person can tell." He paused. "Or close to it." He frowned. "Wait. I thought you and Summer were back together anyway."

"Yeah. But irrelevant, because this is clearly a hypothetical situation." Seth gave his father a pointed look.

"Gotcha. No more real-people names." Sandy smiled slightly as his own missteps. "But bottom line: you have to be honest."

Seth chewed on that for a moment.

_But what if you just got back from making out with your almost-brother, who you have no feelings for so he won't run back to Chino or wherever to escape this? What if this has been going on for almost two months? What if you have to think about your girlfriend every time you kiss your almost-brother so you can be properly stimulated for him? What if you can't pretend anymore?_

"What if you've already indicated that you've felt the same way? I mean, what do you do if you get stuck in a relationship with someone you feel nothing for just to keep them liking you?" Seth attempted to remain blank-faced.

"Doesn't matter. You have to be honest, before the other person gets hurt anymore. Lies on top of lies don't help anything, understand that? Time can mend a friendship if you let it, but appeasing another person and ignoring how you truly feel doesn't help anything. Got it? Honesty." Sandy eyed Seth with concern. "You sure you don't want to attach real names to this?"

Seth curled his toes slightly. "Uh, no. But thanks. And uh, don't worry or anything. It's really not so much my problem as somebody else's…."

"Ryan?" Sandy asked, narrowing his eyebrows. "Is this about him and Marissa?"

Oh yeah, his dad was way behind.

"Dad.."

"Right. Sorry."

"Okay. Now, forget this happened." Seth stood up, face neutral but brain analyzing all of his father's words. "But thanks. You helped. So I can help." He paused, the proper look of uncertainty now taking claim over him. "I hope."

Sandy opened a random file, trying to allow Seth a comfortable exit. He stared at it blankly.

"Good luck, son." He nodded to Seth's wave and watched his back as he opened the door. "And I hope you come to me, anytime."

tbc, probably in much too much time, but please review.


End file.
